Little did we know that when we created this blog that this is what we'd use it for, but here goes:
Harry's mother's funeral will be at Temple Beth El, 660 Park Avenue, Huntington, at 9:30 AM Sunday August 23rd.
We are sitting shiva Sunday from 5-8 and Monday from 7-9. Our address is 2 Colyer Place, Greenlawn. So many of you have written and/or called us already. We thank you and we love you.
Friday, August 21, 2009
A Little Good News...Some Very Bad News
The good news...I had the follow up doctor visit yesterday morning. I'm healing fine. While I still experience a lot of pain, it is relatively less than before and diminishing every day. The cause of the pain is my body adjusting to the new spine angle that the docs created, wound healing, including nerves, muscles and skin.
Now for the unbelievable, and unbearable bad news. This will come from nowhere, so brace yourself.
The Friday prior to surgery Barbara I visited my mother to reassure her that I was ok. She was nervous and worried and I wanted to allay her fears. We spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday together. She seemed to be calm. On Saturday, while Dotty (my sister) took my niece Hilary and her daughter Morgan to the airport for their return flight to Dallas, Barbara and I took my mother out for lunch. "What would you like for lunch if you could have anything, mom?" "Ice cream," she said. And so we found a soft serve ice cream stand on the shore of Lake Pontoosuc and had lunch.
She was anxious about the surgery, so as soon as it was over, Barbara called to let her know that I was in recovery. Puzzled, my mother said to Barbara, "Harold had surgery and no one told me?"
Such was the state her thinking, when Dotty, Marty and Mom set out to visit me yesterday. With scheduled arrival of 2 PM, and a short visit scheduled given my limited endurance, I thought nothing of it when by 3 PM they had not arrived. Dotty is not known, despite often heroic efforts, to be on time for appointments.
When the phone range at 3:10, the caller ID said "Huntington Hospital" where I had just been for surgery. My daughter in law, Julie, who had come over so she could say hi to "Nanny," remarked that I had probably left something there, and they were calling with the information. No.
It was my sister Dotty. The three of them had been in a terrible car accident at the exit of the parkway, near my house. Without providing details here, their car, while standing still, had been broadsided by another vehicle, and my mother was injured, badly.
I'm sure you know where this is going, so I will spare additional details. Julie and I rushed to the hospital. Within an hour of arrival mom died. She had slipped into a coma, and quietly, silently passed away.
We are of course in shock. Layering this pain and the complications of sudden death onto physical and emotional roller coaster of the past month is a challenge to me personally, and our family strength.
I will continue to recover from the back surgery. And healing from this, a different process, at a different rate, will also proceed. Thanks to everyone who followed me through the surgery, communicated with me through this space, email, telephone and snail mail. I love you all.
This will be my last posting on the blog.
Harry
Now for the unbelievable, and unbearable bad news. This will come from nowhere, so brace yourself.
The Friday prior to surgery Barbara I visited my mother to reassure her that I was ok. She was nervous and worried and I wanted to allay her fears. We spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday together. She seemed to be calm. On Saturday, while Dotty (my sister) took my niece Hilary and her daughter Morgan to the airport for their return flight to Dallas, Barbara and I took my mother out for lunch. "What would you like for lunch if you could have anything, mom?" "Ice cream," she said. And so we found a soft serve ice cream stand on the shore of Lake Pontoosuc and had lunch.
She was anxious about the surgery, so as soon as it was over, Barbara called to let her know that I was in recovery. Puzzled, my mother said to Barbara, "Harold had surgery and no one told me?"
Such was the state her thinking, when Dotty, Marty and Mom set out to visit me yesterday. With scheduled arrival of 2 PM, and a short visit scheduled given my limited endurance, I thought nothing of it when by 3 PM they had not arrived. Dotty is not known, despite often heroic efforts, to be on time for appointments.
When the phone range at 3:10, the caller ID said "Huntington Hospital" where I had just been for surgery. My daughter in law, Julie, who had come over so she could say hi to "Nanny," remarked that I had probably left something there, and they were calling with the information. No.
It was my sister Dotty. The three of them had been in a terrible car accident at the exit of the parkway, near my house. Without providing details here, their car, while standing still, had been broadsided by another vehicle, and my mother was injured, badly.
I'm sure you know where this is going, so I will spare additional details. Julie and I rushed to the hospital. Within an hour of arrival mom died. She had slipped into a coma, and quietly, silently passed away.
We are of course in shock. Layering this pain and the complications of sudden death onto physical and emotional roller coaster of the past month is a challenge to me personally, and our family strength.
I will continue to recover from the back surgery. And healing from this, a different process, at a different rate, will also proceed. Thanks to everyone who followed me through the surgery, communicated with me through this space, email, telephone and snail mail. I love you all.
This will be my last posting on the blog.
Harry
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I emerge....slowy
Hi everyone,
I am now first able to sit up for while, though it takes quite a lot of energy. The surgical swelling is going down, and the pain is diminishing a little each day. Though my constant companion, Mr. Percoset, helps out a lot.
I just read all the posts, and am grateful and humble to have such great friends and relatives. It's part of what I use each day to motivate me to take an extra step (with my walker :)) and to visualize getting back into society.
I will write a little more each day, and soon I'll be able to speak with with each of you to thank you for your love and support personally. I'll have some amusing hospital stories to tell at my own expense - some well known to Barbara and my kids. Barbara and my kids - no man is luckier to have had such loving help as I. I wish none of you ever never needs it, but that if you do, you have no less than what you and my family have given to me. You will however, have one more supporter. Me.
More later.
Harry
I am now first able to sit up for while, though it takes quite a lot of energy. The surgical swelling is going down, and the pain is diminishing a little each day. Though my constant companion, Mr. Percoset, helps out a lot.
I just read all the posts, and am grateful and humble to have such great friends and relatives. It's part of what I use each day to motivate me to take an extra step (with my walker :)) and to visualize getting back into society.
I will write a little more each day, and soon I'll be able to speak with with each of you to thank you for your love and support personally. I'll have some amusing hospital stories to tell at my own expense - some well known to Barbara and my kids. Barbara and my kids - no man is luckier to have had such loving help as I. I wish none of you ever never needs it, but that if you do, you have no less than what you and my family have given to me. You will however, have one more supporter. Me.
More later.
Harry
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thanks for the Offers of Food
Y'all are so sweet to offer to bring us food. And I promise to take you up on it. But not yet. While every day is better, Harry really hasn't gotten his appetite back, and everything tastes bad, I guess because of all the medication. I even bought fresh fish at the farmers' market and he only ate a small bite. The blueberry pie I made yesterday is still sitting on the counter.
But I promise--Harry's appetite will come back, and we'll gratefully welcome all offers of home cooking.
Not Ready for Visitors Yet
To all our dear friends--
We so appreciate your wish to come see Harry and cheer him on in his recovery. He's going to be home for several weeks. So--to all of you who have asked to come see him--not yet. He still has a lot of pain (but every day is better than the last) and needs to rest a lot. I promise I'll let you know, and then you'll really be able to enjoy each other.
We love you all.
We so appreciate your wish to come see Harry and cheer him on in his recovery. He's going to be home for several weeks. So--to all of you who have asked to come see him--not yet. He still has a lot of pain (but every day is better than the last) and needs to rest a lot. I promise I'll let you know, and then you'll really be able to enjoy each other.
We love you all.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
We're Home!
So it was a really bad night--they brought Harry a roommate from the ER who was disoriented, noisy, complaining, demanding. I think they do this on purpose so you realize you'd really be much more comfortable at home.
The surgeon's partner came in this morning, ripped (literally) off the bandages, and discharged him. After about an hour of waiting for all the paperwork, Russ and I brought him home.
Relief.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Saturday--not home yet
Maybe you think of this as a setback, but I don't. I'm actually relieved that he will have one more day where he has constant care. I spoke to the PA in the doctor's office today. They have to get him onto oral pain meds and he has to be able to walk stairs before he can come home. He has had much less pain, and the PT will be working on stairs today. So maybe tomorrow. I'll let you know.
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